Silent treatment can be painful beyond what any words can describe. The abuser might not be physically hurting you but they’re slowly killing you inside out. The feeling of not knowing what you did wrong and how long your partner is going to keep on ignoring you is unbearable.

I know because I’ve been through it several times in my past relationships. Do you know what the crazy thing about silent treatment abuse is? You fail to realize you’re being emotionally abused until one day you get that final thought in your head saying “I’ve had enough”. Even then some people will still fail to realize and continue being victims of it.

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Before we get to the strategies of dealing with silent treatment abuse, let’s have a look at some of the common questions you may have about it.

What is a silent treatment abuse in relationships?

It’s the nasty moment of air time you get from your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband for something you have no idea about. The abuser will ignore talking to you and pretend like you don’t even exist for as long as they wish.

But why though? What do they get out of it?

Here are some common reasons why your partner is giving you cold shoulders:

  • He or she wants you to realize something you did or said wrong and apologize and make up for it.
  • Random mood swings/stress and they’re taking it out on you.
  • They need to fill up their regular dose of special attention from you using the silent treatment method.
  • For the pure pleasure of seeing you anxious and messed up.

How long does silent treatment abuse usually last for?

For as long as you can tolerate the BS. Literally.

Silent treatment can last for anywhere between a few hours to months or even years for some people. It’s really sad thinking about the fact some people will actually tolerate it for years hopelessly.

What does the abuser usually do?

Some examples:

  • Simply avoids communication of any sort for as long as they wish.
  • Expects you to suck up to them about what you did wrong and how you can make up.
  • Leaves you clueless and worried.
  • Gives you random mood swings and sarcastic comments/ or 1 word replies.
  • Won’t tell you exact reason why they’re mad at you.
  • They find you annoying when you make a move and when you don’t.
  • Avoiding to be in your presence.
  • Avoiding any physical contact.
  • Stubborn for no reason.
  • Some use silent treatment as an escape from serious conversations.
  • Would ignore you in front of other people too.
  • They would go on about with their day to day activities while you stay stressed about what went wrong.
  • They want you to feel guilty and stay guilty.
  • Some give silent treatment until the victim works out what went wrong and makes it up to them for it.

How does the victim of silent treatment abuse feel about it?

Examples of how the victim feels:

  • The victim of silent treatment abuse would instantly feel like “What did I do wrong this time?”.
  • Their mind becomes trained to think as if they did something wrong to deserve the silent treatment.
  • Tired and exhausted of asking for forgiveness for something they have no idea about.
  • Tons of anxiety, fear and stress.
  • Sleepless nights.
  • Feeling isolated.
  • Depending on how long and how often the abuse is taking place, some victims will start growing anger and hatred towards their partner.
  • Feels suffocated and starts looking for a desperate solution anywhere.