Love & Dating

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My Boyfriend thinks I’m fat: What the flip do I do?

my-boyfriend-thinks-im-fatYou need to find yourself a new boyfriend sweetheart, that’s what you need to do.

I wish I could say I was joking about the above but, I’m really not.

Hold on a moment though…

It’s not really fair to dump your “soul mate”, “other half” blah blah just because he called you “fat” is it?

Hmm yeah, it’s not fair.

So let’s talk about a few important things about your relationship to help you make a well thought out decision.

You might have already heard about this method before but I’m going to tell you anyway because it’s really worth giving a shot.

It’s simple but you have to try to do it this way. Go somewhere alone where your mind will find peace and sit there for some time. Take a piece of paper and pen with you and while you’re there, think about all the things you like or love about this boyfriend of yours.

When I say “things you love about your boyfriend”, I’m talking about his personality. Write down the things you really like or love about his personality and the way he treats you.

On the other side of the paper, write down the list of things you dislike or hate about your boyfriend.

Does the negative points outweigh the positives?

If yes, the harsh truth is that you’re probably wasting time with the wrong person. If this boy is doing no good for you in your life other than making you feel low about yourself by calling you “fat” and so on, do you really think he is the one?

What if his positive points outweigh the negatives?

What if, on the list you’ve created, you seem to have a lot more things you love about his personality than the ones you hate?

This is where this beautiful quote by Bob Marley comes in:

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

^ That is life summed up in a single sentence. After reading the positives and negatives you have written about your boyfriend, do you feel in your heart he is worth suffering for?

Think about the following questions when it comes to him calling you “FAT”…

  • How often does he do that?- If he’s doing that to you every time he sees you…please scroll up and read the first sentence on this post.
  • Does he think it’s a joke? – You need to stand up and let him know his sense of humour sucks.
  • Does he say it in a serious tone like he proper means it? – Either way he needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.
  • Is he aware of how much it has impacted your self-esteem? – You know there’s a good chance he’s doing this to you thinking you’re not taking it seriously. Have you made it clear to him how much he’s hurting you every time he calls you “fat”?

If he’s truly unaware of how much he’s hurt you when (or every time) he called you fat, it’s your responsibility to let him know.

If he is aware of it and he still carries on calling you “fat”, once again, please scroll up and read the first sentence on this post.

Now don’t get me wrong though. I’m all for fighting to save a true love relationship and all that, however, if you ever find yourself spending months or years wasting time/energy trying to just tolerate his BS, Leave this person and move the hell on already.

Life is way too short to be wasting with the wrong person (and people).

It’s your call now. Do you think he’s worth wasting your time and energy with?

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10 Ways to Deal with Silent Treatment Abuse in Relationships
1 May, 2015
Breakups, Love & Dating, Marriage & Divorce

10 Ways to Deal with Silent Treatment Abuse in Relationships

Silent treatment can be painful beyond what any words can describe. The abuser might not be physically hurting you but they’re slowly killing you inside out. The feeling of not knowing what you did wrong and how long your partner is going to keep on ignoring you is unbearable.

I know because I’ve been through it several times in my past relationships. Do you know what the crazy thing about silent treatment abuse is? You fail to realize you’re being emotionally abused until one day you get that final thought in your head saying “I’ve had enough”. Even then some people will still fail to realize and continue being victims of it.

READ ALSO: 10 Surefire Signs of a Controlling Husband

Before we get to the strategies of dealing with silent treatment abuse, let’s have a look at some of the common questions you may have about it.

What is a silent treatment abuse in relationships?

It’s the nasty moment of air time you get from your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband for something you have no idea about. The abuser will ignore talking to you and pretend like you don’t even exist for as long as they wish.

But why though? What do they get out of it?

Here are some common reasons why your partner is giving you cold shoulders:

  • He or she wants you to realize something you did or said wrong and apologize and make up for it.
  • Random mood swings/stress and they’re taking it out on you.
  • They need to fill up their regular dose of special attention from you using the silent treatment method.
  • For the pure pleasure of seeing you anxious and messed up.

How long does silent treatment abuse usually last for?

For as long as you can tolerate the BS. Literally.

Silent treatment can last for anywhere between a few hours to months or even years for some people. It’s really sad thinking about the fact some people will actually tolerate it for years hopelessly.

What does the abuser usually do?

Some examples:

  • Simply avoids communication of any sort for as long as they wish.
  • Expects you to suck up to them about what you did wrong and how you can make up.
  • Leaves you clueless and worried.
  • Gives you random mood swings and sarcastic comments/ or 1 word replies.
  • Won’t tell you exact reason why they’re mad at you.
  • They find you annoying when you make a move and when you don’t.
  • Avoiding to be in your presence.
  • Avoiding any physical contact.
  • Stubborn for no reason.
  • Some use silent treatment as an escape from serious conversations.
  • Would ignore you in front of other people too.
  • They would go on about with their day to day activities while you stay stressed about what went wrong.
  • They want you to feel guilty and stay guilty.
  • Some give silent treatment until the victim works out what went wrong and makes it up to them for it.

How does the victim of silent treatment abuse feel about it?

Examples of how the victim feels:

  • The victim of silent treatment abuse would instantly feel like “What did I do wrong this time?”.
  • Their mind becomes trained to think as if they did something wrong to deserve the silent treatment.
  • Tired and exhausted of asking for forgiveness for something they have no idea about.
  • Tons of anxiety, fear and stress.
  • Sleepless nights.
  • Feeling isolated.
  • Depending on how long and how often the abuse is taking place, some victims will start growing anger and hatred towards their partner.
  • Feels suffocated and starts looking for a desperate solution anywhere.

Continue to Page 2…

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Love & Dating

One Size Doesn’t Fit All (At least when it comes to Online Dating)

Photo via Pixabay

Photo via Pixabay

We’ve all been there. Bars, your mother’s best friend’s son, friends of friends fixing us up, parties, dinners, grocery stores, the gym.  Church.  Blind dates (shudder!) and of course there is no shortage of the murky, unchartered and sometimes very frightening online dating sites.

It’s hard enough to meet people we’d like to date in all these situations, let alone wander from site to site trying to find a perfect fit in the competitive world of dating. Some of these sites should be called “Models seeking models.” Perfect matches made in heaven? Gleaming smiles, glossy hair, and don’t forget, people who look as though they stepped right out of a photoshoot for a fashion magazine. Does this sound like you? Does this sound like any of us?  Probably not.

In a society where looks are everything and we’re hit from all directions on how important it is to be model-perfect and catwalk worthy, it’s refreshing to come across a dating website where people are presented genuinely and not because they live up to certain superficial standards. Not all of us are a size 2.

With so many sites to choose from, it’s refreshing to find a site like BBW. BBW Admire is a free on-line dating service for those of us who are just frustrated and tired of those glossy sites that promise much and deliver nothing. BBW Admire is a place for those of us, too, who are, dare I say, REAL people? It’s a safe, non-judgmental site where you can meet others who put emphasis on the things that really matter. What’s inside.  Not what size clothing you wear.  Who you really are, not just a preconceived notion of society’s idea of “ideal.” And best of all, real people.

Easy to navigate, BBW Dating enables all their members to send and receive messages. You can get to know each other before taking that plunge. Upgrading to their unlimited package is a snap and for premium members, there is a forum and chat room to get to know others.

So check out this user-friendly, 100% free site. Who knows, your perfect fit might just be a click away.

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