The A+ B Rule. . .
You are A and your partner is B so don’t allow C (third person) to butt into your business.
The only time you should talk about the ugly side of your relationship with someone is when (if):
- Your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is acting in ways that is or could physically harm you or kill you (in rare cases). Then of course, you need to seek help and get rid of this person for good.
- If you no longer love this person and simply want to move on.
Other than the 2 reasons above, you should keep the ugly sides of your relationship between yourselves. Why?
- 90% of the time the person with whom you’re sharing your negative stories with really doesn’t care. It gives people this sense of being important when someone tells them about their relationship fuss so instead of trying to help, most of the times this person C will end up making things worse.
- If you happen to tell your family members like your mom or brother about the arguments with your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, they can become more focused on splitting you two apart to simply set you free from the relationship trouble.
- You could open space for betrayal. If you share the arguments and ugly sides of your relationship with your close friend (same gender as you) who also happens to be your partner’s friend, there is a damn 99.9% chance that this person could use it to their advantage and steal your partner from you. In another word, your close friend can betray you. Believe me; it happens a lot these days.
- You could end up feeding the hungry gossiper.
You might just be having some minor misunderstandings and arguments with your husband or boyfriend or girlfriend but you both probably love each other to bits. Things will start getting really awkward when you tell other people about the minor negative stuff that happens in your relationship. They can start gossiping about your relationship, exaggerate things and spread rumors. How is that going to help? It can help you guys to break up faster if you want.
The happiest relationship in most cases is one that buries the ugly stuff between themselves and only talks about the happy side to other people. Trust me, the very people you rely on to fix your relationship could potentially be the ones who’re secretly waiting for you guys to break up.
Think twice before you share your personal relationship matters with anyone other than your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. If you desperately feel that talking to someone might help then make an appointment with a relationship advice counselor.
What do you feel about letting other people get involved in your relationship problems?